by Zebediah Ballsop
New Moon is the most angst-ridden, humorless, overacted and underwritten teenage suckfest I’ve seen in a long time. This movie makes Sylvia Plath look like Nipsey Russell. It makes Fried Green Tomatoes look like Lone Wolf McQuade. It makes me want to listen to Dashboard Confessional and chop off my cock.
Kristen Stewart (who [...]
It’s hard for me to enjoy a movie based on a line of toys, particularly a line of robot toys. I’m older than sandstone for Christ’s sake. All we had to play with when I was a kid was the occasional stick or Fla-vor-aid bottlecap. If you were rich, you might have a petrified [...]
Abe Froman’s opinions appear courtesy of moviesthatsuck.com
Despite popular opinion, I am not a Johnny-come-lately to the Angelina Jolie bandwagon. I’ve been on board since her lips had co-star billing with Denzel in The Bone Collector. Even back then, without knowing anything about Angelina I could tell that, should she ply me with one of her [...]
