idontgiveadamn.org

Skepticism, Apathy and Alcoholism all bundled up in one pissy little package

Got article #2 to the Cracked.com front page

And here it is…… 6 Laws that Were Great on Paper (and Insane Everywhere Else)

Now that I have two under my belt, I must say that writing for Cracked is alot of work.  They put ideas thru the community wringer before they even think about accepting them.  This article started off as  Laws that Backfired Hilariously.  I almost didn’t get to write it because I couldn’t come up with 6 solid examples. Luckily they paired me up with Robin O’ Lachlan, and we were able to tag team this bitch into submission.

If you want to write for Cracked, read this.  It’s the best guide out there for getting your ideas to the front page.

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6 Scientific Reasons People Drive Like Assholes

Got my first article accepted by Cracked.com,  and it’s up on the front page today.  Here’s the link…………..

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Henry

There’s a salesman named Henry in the office where I work.  He’s a crotchety old bastard, just one low quota away from being shitcanned every month.  He has yellow teeth, his breath smells like decaffeinated dog shit and he conducts every sales call, loudly, on speakerphone.  He hates everyone in the office, but particularly all the younger sales people who are kicking his ass and depriving him of the President’s Club cruise they give away to the top salespeople every year.

One afternoon, a couple of us who were already over 100% of quota for the month were reciting lines from Pulp Fiction. We didn’t think Henry would care because he was on a speakerphone call, as usual.  Well just as I said  “You hear me talkin’, hillbilly boy? I ain’t through with you by a damn sight. I’ma get medieval on your ass!”  Henry slammed his phone down and shouted “And I’m gonna get medieval on your asses if you pop culture motherfuckers don’t shut the fuck up when I’m on the phone!”

I now love that old sonofabitch more than words can express.

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